So an app came out a little while ago called 'Facebook Roulette.' Apparently it's an app that gives you a 1 in 6 chance of deleting your Facebook account. Which given the climate of social media is tantamount to basically playing Russian Roulette because if you don't exist on Facebook/Twitter/Instagram etc. I'm starting to wonder if you exist at all. Sort of a tree falling in the woods with no one around to hear it scenario. But I think I want to give this puppy a shot. Honestly think of how much time you'd probably save if you no longer were stalking people on facebook, playing Candy Crush or letting people know when you're going to the gym.* I mean my bathroom trips would be cut down in time by 4,000% minimum. Sometimes I just sit there playing Words With Friends or Candy Crush and before I know it my ass is asleep and it's 40 minutes later. I'm honestly at a loss as to how college kids get reading done these days. When I was in school if I needed to study all day Sunday I'd just go out on Saturday and hit up some 4th meal on the way back. The next day I'd have David Copperfield read top to bottom. But I went to college at a time of cell phones just making calls and maybe, MAYBE playing Snake. I can only thank God that technology hadn't advanced past that or Farmville would have prevented me from graduating and getting a successful job as an internet blogger (or 'blerper' if you ask my mom what I do).
So I think I may actually give this a try. Hell if it cancels out my Facebook account I may take it one step further and cancel the data plan on my phone. Be living like a modern day Henry David Thoreau in no time. And I know that that reference works because I read about him in 2004 after a dirty 30 of PBR.
*What do you think the actual percentage is of people who actually go to the gym when they tag themselves at Planet Fitness or something on Facebook. 40%? 50%?
PS: Remember that scene in the Matrix where Neo gets out of his 'pod' full of what looks like leftover slime from the TV show Guts? That's what I picture happening if your Facebook account got deleted.