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First sub-5 minute beer mile is as magical as it sounds.

by Jon Henseler

Today we spell hero J-A-M-E-S. I mean to say James Nielsen is a premier athlete is an understatement. Forget the 4 minute mile. Mere child's play compared to this. Can you imagine 48 ounces of beer sloshing around in your stomach while you're trying to run laps?! Like if he can run a beer mile in 4:57 my guess is he can run a normal mile in 2 minutes flat. I'd love to the see the Kenyans who dominate every running category turn this trick. You can have all the gold medals at the Olympics you want, here in America we'll take James Nielsen and his sub-5 beer mile every day of the week and twice on Sunday. Americans: too fast, too strong, too drunk. Can't wait for this guy's ESPN 30 for 30.

Alright so all kidding aside, this beer mile thing is a serious deal. Check out beermile.com . It's got records for almost every country, and even has champs for every state in the union. Even tells you what kind of beer they drank. Our man James here drank 4 Bud HEAVIES. Other folks were housing Natty Ice or Icehouse! If you're drinking an 'ice' beer and pulling this off I think you should have 10-20 seconds shaved off your final time but I'm not sure what the ruling body is for the beer mile.

So logically I have to give this a shot right? What's the over/under on a blogger completing this task? 15 minutes? 30? 3-5 business days? I honestly can't decide which part of this I would struggle with more. I'd like to act like a tough-guy beer drinking bro but if we're being honest, just drinking 4 beers in under 5 minutes is a miracle. I remember the first time my buddies and tried a power hour. Minute 1: 'A shot of beer a minute for an hour? Pfffft, let's make it two!' Minute 41: 'It feels like the movie Alien in my stomach! No mas!' So with that in mind I'm not sure how you pull of 48 ounces in 5 minutes. And that doesn't even factor in that I'm not sure I can even physically run a mile. Last time I did that was in high school gym class I think. Everyone had to complete it to pass gym class. I got it done but I'm pretty sure I checked in at like 22 (61) minutes. Like gun to my head if you told me right now I need to run a sub-10 minute mile to save my life I'm pink mist. Looks like the champ in Wisconsin is Erik Bartleson. He did it in 5:45. No chance I beat that but I think I have to try right? Best case scenario I set the record and die. Worst case scenario I die 3 minutes in and become a viral video. Win, win really.

PS: This girlfriend can play for my team any day. Normal response from a girlfriend when asked 'you want to come film me try and run a beer mile?!' is eye-roll city. She was there and calling it like it was Game 7 of the World Series. That's a ride or die chick.