« Strange Brew

Giant snake learns how to open a door.

by Jon Henseler

No big deal folks. Just a giant python opening a door on it's own. Nothing to worry about. I mean that's it for humanity. Basically the only thing standing inbetween snakes and global domination was doors. Well it won't take long before Julius here tells all his snake buddies how to open doors and before you know it you'll be choked out in your sleep in no time flat. I guess it was only a matter of time. Planet of the Snakes here we come.

And what's the deal with this guy/girl saying 'good job'? Wake up! You just sealed our fate.

PS: When I'm hungover me and this snake have a lot in common with the way we enter a room.

Double PS: I can think of four people that might be able to save the planet. If they get together quickly enough we might be able to save humanity as we know it. Snake team ASSSEMMBLLLLLEE

Harry Potter: The Negotiator. Can speak parseltongue, might be our last hope to avoid extinction.

He's tired of these mother $#$#% snakes opening these mother #$$%$#$ doors!

I know he's more of a crocodile guy but truth be told he'd be on any of my teams to save the world.

Absolute no brainer. He may not be as spry as he once was (cocaine is a hell of a drug) but hopefully he can control Julius the same way he controlled Damian.