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How long does a hangover last?

by Jon Henseler

So a new study was released the other day that found an 'average' time that a hangover lasts. How long is it? That's what she said. Also; 9 hours and 45 minutes was the time they came up with. Now obviously there are a ton of variables there that would affect that time. What kind of booze were you drinking, age, how much greasy food did you consume before passing out, etc. etc. But I have to say that as I'm getting closer to 30 I am WAY over the median of that statistic. I can remember when I was 18 21 thinking that hangovers were a joke. Something made up by adults to scare kids away from drinking. Just like when they tell you your 'face will get stuck like that' when you made a face or 'don't accept candy from strangers' when candy is awesome. Same deal here. Because for years I would wake up no worse for the ware. I was like a drunken Wolverine. Recovering in no time flat. But now? I've got a better shot of running a marathon than I do of not feeling like I was in a car wreck the day after drinking. Friday Jon's drinking isn't just Saturday morning Jon's problem anymore. It's Sunday Jon's and probably half of Monday Jon's problem. And at the rate that time frame is extending I fully anticipate that after a night out when I'm 60 I'm probably just be hungover until I'm dead. Luckily I also have a rapidly declining metabolism so I probably won't make it that long anyway. See? Life solves everything. It, ah, ah, ah, finds a way.

PS: The longer hangover's really affect your motivation to go out as well I'm learning. Had a buddy call me on a Wednesday last week to see if I wanted to get a few drinks. A frieking Wednesday. What is it your birthday bro? Now if I was 22? Yes a 100 times out of 100. Now? Think I'll just watch some Netflix, do a little light reading and hit the sack by 8pm.