« Strange Brew

Minnesota TV reporter not thrilled with the riots following the Gopher loss in the hockey championship.

by Jon Henseler

Hey Jonathan do you even riot bro? Look I don't like to take shots at people when I've never been in their position* but this guy has to clean his act up. You're not embedded in Fallujah you're in frieking Dinkytown with a baker's dozen of drunk college kids efforting a loss-riot. I realize it's not the easiest job but maybe choke down a few Xanax before you hit the streets if this is how you're going to act. 'It's chaotic! There's two police cars! (pellet) Shots fired!' Grow up dude. Not going to make the lead anchor chair acting like that. Gotta be cool under pressure in less than ideal situations. Could you imagine this guy trying to cover State Street after the Badgers made the Final Four? Yikes. Probably would have been a category 5 meltdown. Would have made Rain Man missing Wapner look composed. Come on Jonathan! If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, poise counts!

*Plot Twist it is my favorite past time. Although I will say I don't envy his position. Not the part about covering drunk kids at bar close but the part about being on TV. I spent one day trying to volunteer at our campus TV station in Stevens Point and it was awful. You've got to shave every day, shower every day, brush your teeth 5 times a week, put on a suit AND wear makeup. Hard pass. Walked right out of that studio and down the hall to the radio station and realized that doing half the work for half the pay but being able to dress like a vagrant was a nice trade off. Now I shower when I want to, brush my teeth when I want too and wear makeup when I want to (Mon-Thurs and every other Friday).