(for future generations of bloggers who will google 'bud selig iron throne' you're welcome)
So yesterday Bud Selig and MLB handed down suspensions for the brawl at PNC on Easter and it of course made 0 sense. On the Brewers side Martin Maldonado got 5 games for going ' pow right in the kissa ' to Travis Snider and Gomez got 3 games for famous Latin temper .On the Pittsburgh side Travis Snider got 2 games for doing his best Glass Joe impersonation and Russel Martin got 1 game. And that's it. Something missing here folks? Like, oh I dunno, the instigator of the whole mess Gerrit Cole getting frieking NOTHING. Not a game suspension. Not a fine. To steal the words of one of the great philosophers of our time, what? Like I get the suspensions for everyone else. Gomez can probably appeal and get it down to 1 or 2 games. Maldonado basically misses a start since he's our backup catcher. And Snider's suspension is probably the last relevant thing we'll hear about him before he disappears like a bit actor in a 90's sitcom. But how does Cole come away unscathed? He started the whole fiasco! This would be like not holding Ryan accountable for almost burning the whole office down with his cheese pita. Absurd on all levels.
Oh and Russell Martin apparently has challenged Martin Maldonado to a fight for charity in the off-season. Which if we're being honest sounds kind of cool. Instead of fighting wars on Twitter get these two in a ring and hash it out MMA style like real men*. Bonus points if Russell challenges Maldonado like this during the next series between these two teams:
*Settling scores with fists like real men, something internet tough guys like me know nothing about. A blogger 'fight for charity' would be two dudes wearing Forever Lazy's sitting in front of computers on opposite ends of a steel cage furiously typing insults at each other until our Mom's had lunch ready for us. Generation Y!
PS: Say what you will about Fuhrer Goodell but he would NOT have let Cole walk away without a suspension. Yeah he might have suspended 80% of each of our rosters forcing us to use a minor league team for a week but he would have punished everyone involved.