So in case you live a life where you don't tune in to ESPN like it was a court ordered 13 hour-a-day sentence, the NFL Draft is tonight. Now in all honesty I've never been a huge 'draft guy' and I think the primary reason is because it takes way too frieking long. Like I can get into the scouting reports and the draft grades and all that but I will never understand why the first round takes longer than a screening of the Ten Commandments. If there is one thing the NBA does better than the NFL it's that it relegates the time in-between picks to like 5 minutes. In the NFL it's like half an hour. Like you could legitimately watch for the first pick tonight, then watch an entire episode of House of Cards on Netflix, then turn the draft back on and St. Louis would still be on the clock and Chris Berman would be rambling on like he's a real life Drunk Uncle from SNL . I just don't get it. They should do one draft where the NFL is forced to draft like a fantasy football draft on Yahoo. Make your pick in 1:30* or your pick gets auto-drafted.
So with that in mind, the Lost Letterman blog posted a 2014 NFL Draft Drinking game and it should help make the down time pass. My only concern is that with the amount of times you'd have to drink under those rules, I'd be getting my stomach pumped by the time the Packers come up at #21. Also I think they should add one where you have to drink whenever Adam Shefter fake looks at his Blackberry. Can't stand that when he does that in the middle of a segment on Sportscenter. Bro we all know those texts are as real as the bookcase you sit in front of during segments! Wouldn't shock me one bit if he asks his wife to 'accidentally' text him during a segment. 'Looking great honey!' You'll never be Jay Glazer my man. Not now, not ever.
And as far as the Packers go I don't think anybody knows what's on Teddy Ballgame's mind per usual. Maybe a linebacker, maybe a safety, maybe a tight end, maybe a third baseman. All I know is that I'll probably say 'WHO?!', then he'll get torn apart on Twitter, then we'll all love the pick by November.
*If you have the first overall pick in a fantasy football draft at the clock gets past 1:27 you are the jerk store's all time best seller.
PS: Best part of the draft every year is the 3 minute montage they put together of Mel Kiper's hair over the years. Maybe the most famous piece of lettuce on the planet. Thing's got it's own Twitter account and has more followers than me. Could you imagine if it was a piece?! Like one year Todd McShay just loses it and rips that bad boy right off his head. What a news story that would be. Like the ESPN version of the Kennedy assassination.
Double PS: Apparently some new site named 'Sqor' has commissioned Brett Favre to do mock drafts? First of all, gutsy move to not put a 'u' after the 'q.' Second of all I love the fact that Favre is sitting in his living room on a web cam wearing a cut off shirt, baseball hat and looks like he hasn't gotten a haircut in years. If he would have shot this on an old school camcorder it would have looked like one of those tapes Al Queda releases every once in a while. Either way it is high comedy. Check it out here .