I have no rational explanation why but I flat out could not stop laughing about this story when I watched it this morning. Like I realize if you look at this story on the surface it's pretty sad probably but that didn't change the fact that I was laughing like George McFly watching Jackie Gleason. This story is sort of like the pyramids for me. If you don't consider the vast human suffering used to create them and just focus on the surface it's pretty incredible. And Bill Flowers can play on my team any day of the week. 93 years old and his dog drags a human leg back to his property?! No biggie. Just put that bad boy in a plastic bag and bury it in the back yard! No reason to bother the cops with something I can take care of myself. That plus there's no reason to potentially set yourself up to be thrown in the clink at age 93. Best way around that is to hide evidence from a crime you didn't commit. You do you Bill Flowers.
PS: I'm 17% certain Bill Flowers is Bill Cosby's biological father. Sounds exactly like him. If he would have just said 'Jello puddin' pops' at the end I'd be up to 85% certainty.