« Strange Brew

Opening Day can beat us all.

by Jon Henseler

Look I'm going to give this woman the benefit of the doubt and say this photo-shopped but even if it isn't I'm not going to cast an internet stone at her from my blogging ivory tower . Because anyone who has attended an opening day, not just at Miller Park but anywhere, knows things can escalate quickly. You've been cooped up inside for 6 months waiting out a polar vortex, you finally start to feel a hint of warmer air, you meet your friends at Miller Park for the first time since last September and you start housing beer, brats and potato salad at 9am. It's a shock to the system. You're intestines are like a baby calf trying to walk for the first time and sometimes that means you fall over/poop your pants. Happens to the best of us. So combine that with the fact that I myself have pooped my pants as an adult, you're not going to hear a peep from me*. Plus it looks like she's still walking IN to the park to watch the game. Not letting the fact that her colon (maybe) exploded hold her back from seeing the first regular season game of the year. How many of us can say we'd do that for our team? Next level fandom.

*Doesn't feel like our relationship as blogger/reader is strong enough to tell that whole story yet. In fact only myself and two other people in the world know the whole story. Suffice to say it wasn't my finest hour. Also not my worst hour. But I'm pretty confident more people have adult-poop pants stories than are willing to admit it. If you've never pooped your pants because you ate and drank too much at a tailgate, concert, etc. it tells me you've never partied hard enough. Poop your pants. Live a life.