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Remain Calm Brewer Nation! All is well (ish)(maybe)!

by Jon Henseler

Alright so the fact that the Brewers are slumping pretty hard isn't something that's on double secret probation (+1 synergy). Losers of 9 out of 10 and yesterday's game took the cake. Matt Garza carrying a no hitter into the 7th inning and a complete game shutout into the 8th inning and we somehow lose 9-1 when the bullpen comes in and tries to put out a fire with a gasoline loaded Super Soaker that they pumped 50 times. I honestly don't think I've ever seen that happen. A team turns a potential no-no* into getting run ruled in less than 20 minutes. Doesn't help that the offense is literally swinging at every pitch like they're playing a real life game of The Show on Playstation. Seriously I love Gomez but two nights ago he swung at 7 straight pitches. 7! Did Yuniesky Betancourt make a Johnny Narron mask and become our hitting coach two weeks ago? My dog shows more patience when I'm holding a piece of chicken jerky.

That being said, we STILL have the best record in the NL and are STILL in first place. Kind of hard to fathom given the rut we're in, but that's how good this team was for the first 3 and a half months of the year. And that's what gives me piece of mind (that and prescription strength Xanax). There's just no possible way that a team goes from the best in baseball to the worst in 2 weeks. This is just a slump but it's a slump we need to rectify QUICKLY. Love the fact that in one fell swoop yesterday we finally called up Jimmy Nelson and DL-ed Wei Chung Wang with an 'arm tightness' diagnosis that has about as much validity as Costanza's handicap when he works for Play Now . And here's to hoping maybe Nelson will inject some life into this team. Guy was 10-2 with a 1.46 ERA and 22 straight scoreless innings in AAA. He had nothing left to prove there. This has the potential to be as big as a deadline trade and you didn't have to give up anything to get it. If Nelson works out it's like finding a $100 bill in old jeans. He's found money. And everyone knows found money is better than earned money. Give me $100 found over $1,000 earned every day of the week.

So with all of that context this weekend's series is obviously huge with St. Louis. Molina is out for 2 months so you have a chance to capitalize. Take 4 out of 3 and bingo bango you're back to the breathing room you had a few weeks ago. In all seriousness though, just win the series. Lead back to 3 games heading into the All Star game. Generally speaking I hate the 'if you would have told me in March that blah blah blah' argument but the it rings true almost every time. If you would have told me in March that we'd be 11 games over and two games up in the division on July 11th, I would take it 100 times out of 100. So time to blow out the cartridge before tonight and get this thing back on the right track.

*I'll tell you what jinxed it yesterday was the ESPN Scorecenter app. I'm keeping eye on things and very much aware that Garza has a no-no going through 6 when all of a sudden my phone buzzes. Scorecenter app 'Brewers P Matt Garza has no hitter going against Phillies through 6.' Hey ESPN act like you've seen a no hitter for me one time. You never talk about a no hitter. It's like Fight Club or Voldemort. Day 1 mush stuff really. Maybe if Yo gets through 6 tonight you can just try and stay focused on whether or not Lebron spelled out 'Cleveland' on Words with Friends while he was taking a dump this morning instead.

PS: Don't want, NEED Hank the Dog in attendance tonight. If he's not throwing out the first pitch to get our karma back in order then our front office doesn't know the first thing about superstition. It's only weird if it doesn't work .