« Strange Brew

'Sexy Felon' get modeling contract, set to make 15-30K a month.

by Jon Henseler

Well I think this just about does it for me with society folks. I think I'm going to attach a thousand helium balloons to the top of my house like that old guy in Up and just call it a life. Guy gets arrested for the 6th time, admittedly hits a home run with his mug shot, and somehow is going to parlay that into a modeling contract that could pay him around a quarter of a million dollars a year. To quote Don King, only in America!

Now normally I wouldn't cast a stone at someone getting paid but this absurd. Especially considering the above picture! Like it's been proven at this point that this dude took one KILLER picture while the rest of his pics look like he's up for the role of 'generic gang member #4' in a remake of Training Day. Like can you imagine taking the best picture you ever took and turning it into 30k a month? Best case scenario I take a great picture, make it my profile pic on Facebook and trick a girl into swiping right on Tinder. BEST case. But this guy Blue Steel's the hell out of a mugshot, has it go viral on social media, makes women everywhere melt like Shawn Hunter walked into a room in 1995 and bingo bango he falls into a 6 figure career. Thank God we live in this time .

PS: I guess the agency that hired him gave him an agent who also represents Tan Mom, Octomom, V Stiviano, and Teen Mom turned porn star Farrah Abraham. What a cast of characters. We're a Kardashian away from being a list of the most hated people in America. I'm not sure how much money this agency can be making on those names at this point but if there's ever a movement to start a real life Hunger Games their phones will ringing off the hook.

Double PS: Jess concocted the above meme. Fair parallel I suppose. Although I don't hate the one next to it. That was taken on a night out in Sheboygan where we ran into the Chuck Miesfeld and he let me where is leather Packer Super Bowl jacket all night. Pretty sure he thought I was a Make A Wish kid. Either way that jacket was a chick magnet. I've never been so confident in my life. It transformed me from Urkel to Stefan Urquel.