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Team America loses to Belgium. Unless your name is Tim Howard then you won big time.

by Jon Henseler

So with the loss to Belgium yesterday we can all go back to not caring about soccer again for 3 years and 10 months. We can also all go back to eating Belgian waffles and drinking Belgian beer which I abstained from for 8 consecutive hours yesterday in a show of solidarity for Team America. Just call me the blogging Ghandi.

Now if we're being fair I think ultimately the best team won. The best PLAYER didn't win, but the best team won. From what I saw* Belgium basically lived on our side of the pitch. I'd say in a 120 minute match, Belgium probably spent 70 or 80 minutes on our side of the field. Or roughly how long they were involved in World War II ( burn city population Belgium ). So taking that into account and adding to it the fact they they got off an outrageous 38 shots to the U.S.'s 14, you felt like it was only a matter of time before they broke through.

The only thing that really kept us in it was a guy whose Q Rating is higher than you have to be to understand those Sprint Framily commercials; Tim Howard. Guy was an absolute beast yesterday. So many game saving saves that even if we just had an average goalkeeper we probably would have lost 6-1. He looked like an 'if they mated' of Stretch Armstrong and The Flash. Just strapped on those Hamburger Helper gloves and went to work. Kind of reminded me of a pitcher in baseball throwing a no-hitter but his team isn't scoring runs for him. Then when he goes back out he gives up a solo shot and loses. So while I felt bad that he lost because he deserved better, I wouldn't feel too bad for him. He may have been on the losing side of the match but he won the internet which infinitely more valuable in 2014. On July 13th it will be either France, Germany, Belgium, Brazil, Columbia, Costa Rica, The Netherlands or Argentina hoisting the Cup, but the real 2014 World Cup winners are Tim Howard and Luis Suarez.

*In the interest of full disclosure I missed the first 50-ish minutes in the middle of my afternoon nap. I know it only comes around once every 4 years but if I don't get my full 2pm-4pm nap I get fussy.

PS: My last 8 blogs: Lebron, World Cup, World Cup, Bucks, Bucks, Bucks, World Cup, World Cup. When I say I'm not into blogging for the money I really mean it.

Double PS: I absolutely had a Donovon McNabb moment when Belgium scored in the extra session and the game kept going.

Triple PS: America still 49-0 in Super Bowls.