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Topanga gets married in 'real' life.

by Jon Henseler

Man what a day ruiner this is. Here it is a nice Friday morning, Halloween bar scene tonight (I'm going as a blogger.....slutty......nbd) and then this bombshell gets dropped on me. Friekin' Topanga is married to some squid who is not Corey Matthews. Devastating. Now I can't help but feel 1% good for this bro (I'm not going to bother finding his name, he gets the Voldemort treatment) because from what I've read he's only 25 years old. Which means he grew up on Topanga. Which means Topanga's first episode at John Adams High was as much a life changing event for him as it was for me. And now he's living that dream. He gets the 1995 (2013) Jon Henseler Make-A-Wish life. But the other 99% of me wants Frankie and Joey to stuff this doofus in a locker so Corey can give Topanga back his jean jacket and make everything right with the world. Ah well. Goodbye my love!


PS: If this guy said 'LET ME TOUCH SOMETHING!' at the reception then I take everything I said back. Bonus points if he has a fantasy team called 'Don Francisco.'


Double PS: Wait Shawn Hunter got married  last week too?! Has the world gone friekin' mad? Dude you're probably the best wing man of the 90's! You've got a 30 foot hair range! Wake up man. Has Clooney taught these guys nothing? Next thing I'm going to find out is Mr. Feeney isn't a real teacher.