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Vince McMahon loses $350 Million in a DAY

by Jon Henseler

So I guess last week at some point WWE stock sank like a rock and Vinny Mac lost 350 million dollars in less than 24 hours. 350 million! Which I guess is kind of a good news, bad news deal for Vince. Bad news is you lost roughly 35% of your net worth in a day. Good news is you're still worth about $750 million which means you're still in what Carlos Gomez would term the 'kiwi eating population.' Still though I'd venture a guess that losing 350 million will ruin your day 9 times out of 10.

That being said, you don't have to be Gordon Gecko to realize that you need to invest HEAVILY in WWE in short order. If there's one thing I've learned in my almost 30 years on this planet, it's that Vince McMahon never has anything happen to him that he didn't intend to have happen to him. Guy is like Ed Harris in the Truman Show minus the beret. So while the whole world was shocked that a man could lose that amount of money in such a short period of time, Vince was sitting back laughing like Jabba the Hut as he literally plotted out his story line of becoming a billionaire* again. Don't spit into the wind, don't tug on Superman's cape, don't forget to clear your browser history before your girlfriend borrows your computer and don't bet against Vince McMahon. So it's time to take some of my 401K (baseball card collection from 1994) and buy WWE stock while the gettin' is good. Here comes the money !

*That was the other part of the story, the loses sustained knocked him from the ranks of the world's billionaires. Kind of wonder if he's gonna get crap from his other billionaire friends about that. Donald Trump sending him links to Obamacare sign up in his email. Ted Turner mailing him Applebees gift cards.

PS: Article came out last month when Vince was interviewed by Forbes about BECOMING a billionaire (is the Forbes curse to billionaires what the SI curse is to athletes?) and while he was being interviewed he had a dinosaur skull hanging in his office. Such a Vince McMahon subplot. Journalist comes to write an article on you and you've just a T-Rex head hanging out in your office. Definition of an nbd/kbd situation.

Double PS: Just dawned on me that I have literally no idea how to purchase stock. Reminds me of that It's Always Sunny episode where Dennis and Dee try to buy crack. I'd like two WWE stocks please!