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Wheel of Fortune Contestant manages to lose a million dollars and a car in the same episode.

by Jon Henseler

Look my man Julian here is coming under HEAVY internet fire for putting together quite possibly the worst Wheel of Fortune effort in history but I think there's something deeper going on here. There's no way any person, let alone grad student at a Big 10 University could mess up this badly. The mispronunciation I can see. You get under the hot lights of WOF, Sajak and his Morrie's wig staring you down, iconic goddess Vanna White struttin' around mere feet from you and a million dollars on the line. The pressure can get to you. Like Mike Tyson said, 'everyone's got a plan until they get punched in the mouth.' Sure it's easy to knock out pronunciation sitting in your Forever Lazy on your recliner eating a Lean Cuisine for the 5th time this week (friend of mine I know), but when you're there it's a different story.

The second mistake is dumb but also understandable. 'The World's Fastest Car' makes sense until you realize that 'r' was used in 'world's' but again, I can see someone making that mistake. But it's the last one where I had a raised eyebrow. On-the-spot dicespin? What? That doesn't make sense . It's so wrong that it almost feels like our man Julian was planted there on purpose to be the 'worst contest of all time,' generate a billion web hits and make millions of internet dollars for Wheel of Fortune. So while the entire world is laughing at Julian he's probably chilling with Sajak and Vanna smoking cigars and crushing champagne somewhere in Abu Dhabi. Well they might have catfished everyone else but not this degenerate blogger! I'm coming for you Sajak! And I won't stop until I reach the top and/or get distracted by a blog recapping last night's Game of Thrones episode!

PS: I think I need to start seeing things more at face value than I do at present. But this is what happens when you grow up in a cynical generation. You write blogs about Watergate-esque Wheel of Fortune conspiracies. Or you become Glenn Beck.