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Who had a worse night in San Antonio, Lebron or Powerade?

by Jon Henseler

BOOM roasted. Tough, tough night for Powerade. They're already facing an uphill climb against Gatorade to begin with. Gatorade was the first drink of it's kind, secured Jordan in the 90's, just an all around better recognized product. Powerade got a late start and for the better part of 2 decades hadn't had a marquee sponsor. Sort of feels like Google Plus trying to get ahead of Facebook in the social media war. And now Powerade finally ponies up what I can only assume are billions of Schrute Bucks to bring in the biggest star in the NBA and arguably the planet to endorse their product and what happens in Game 1 of the NBA Finals? Lebron has to miss the final 6 minutes of a tight ballgame with dehydration and cramps. Powerade marketing department: ' Good, great, grand, wonderful !' And you've got to love Gatorade's Twitter trolling HARD all night. Some intern in charge of that feed is in for a big promotion this morning. Opportunity is where preparation meets luck and making sure you're awake during an NBA game (preparation) when the superstar endorser of your biggest competitor pulls up lame with an injury that might get him a deal with Midol (luck) is the definition of opportunity.

Now of course aside from the Gatorade subplot, Lebron is getting taken to TASK online for that performance last night. 'Lebroning ' is now a term used when the people you work with need to carry you away after a minor injury. Your name going from a noun to a verb in the span of 14 minutes is never a good look. And if Lebron EVER hoped to be in the same conversation as Jordan for the greatest ever he pretty much submarined that last night too. Flu Game versus Cramp Game*. Thus endeth the debate. 'Man up Lebron!'- Jay Cutler.

*If I take off my internet tough guy mask for a second I can say that, without a doubt in my mind, if Lebron cramped up playing in those conditions I 1,000% would have died.

PS: Remember All Sport? Whatever happened to that? Absolutely disgusting. Tasted like melted down crayons with a hint of carbonation. Not even Shaq and Smart Guy could save them.