— Xansby Swanson (@arbyswehavethe2) September 5, 2023
I feel like the word ‘catastrophe’ gets tossed around too loosely these days, but this my friends, is a catastrophe. For everyone involved.
First things first: My thoughts and prayers are with the diarrhea haver. As a past and future diarrhea haver, it’s hard not to have empathy for this person. We’ve all been there. You’re in a public setting, something isn’t sitting right in your stomach, your gut starts to loudly groan and you have to play it off by saying, ‘whoa, must be hungry, haven’t eaten much today!’ You’re not hungry. You’re the opposite of hungry. You know it, and the people around you know it. You’re fighting with every rectal muscle you have to contain the stage 5 rapids forming in your lower intestine.
Now for the most part, you’re able to fight it off long enough to get to a bathroom, or get in your car and go home, etc. Imagine that feeling hitting you when you’re 35,000 feet in the air and 90 minutes into a 9 hour international flight. Nightmare. That’s like a scene from a Saw movie. You have business to attend to that requires fallout shelter levels of privacy, and you have to deal with it on a flight with 335 other people who are going to hear and smell what you need to unleash.
Long story long, this person apparently waited too long and didn’t make it all the way to the bathroom. Or had SO much liquid propane that it overfilled the airplane toilet. Either way, I think at that point I’m just popping the emergency exit door and ducking out if I’m that diarrhea-haver. There’s no coming back from having such bad diarrhea that an entire flight had to turn around and go home because of you. That’s a scarlet letter that won’t come off anytime soon.
Second things second: Imagine being on an international flight and DREADING how long you need to be locked in a cabin with complete strangers, only to have one of those strangers literally poop all over the plane. You’re two hours into a nine hour flight, and you have to turn ALL THE WAY AROUND and head back to the starting point. Deplane, wait for a biohazard team to clean it, then get back on and start the whole process over. Again: Nightmare for every single person involved.
PS: Alternate blog: What a sh!tty situation.
Double PS: I think they actually did clean the entire plane and everyone got back on, but if I’m a member of that clean up team, I might take the William Wallace route:
