Inspired by Aaron Rodgers’ Training Camp look: Is Con Air the best action movie of the 90’s?

Say what you want about Aaron Rodgers, say he’s a little coo coo for  Cocoa Puffs, say his new tattoo looks like a clue from a Dan Brown novel, say he’s dating a witch (he might be), but don’t you dare besmirch the man’s commitment to his training camp costumes. Each and every year he brings it more than a 20 year old college kid at Freakfest in Madison:

(shout out Matt Flynn)

And this year? The Nicolas Cage Con Air Special. Put, the bunny, back, in the box.

So because the Rodgers photos broke while I was writing my Penthouse Forum letter to David Stearns yesterday, I kind of missed the blogging train on the whole deal. Let me tell you: I was more built for a newspaper column in 1995 than I was for internet blogging in 2022.

Anyway, I still wanted to get something up on this masterpiece, so I thought to myself, ‘self,’ I says, ‘self, where would Con Air rank on the list of best/worst 90’s action movies.’ Now THAT could be a blog!

Because make no mistake: The 90’s were the HEYDAY of the good-crappy action movie. 100 minutes, plots riddled with plot holes, huge explosions, extreme close-ups, it was a feast for the senses. And Con Air is without question one of the best to do it in that decade.

So without further adieu, my Top 5 Good-Crappy Action Movies of the 90’s:

5) Face/Off

Editor’s Note: This may end up just becoming a list of Nicolas Cage movies.

That said, this was a gem. Of all of the 90’s movies, the plot of Face/Off might have been the most absurd. I’m pretty sure I’d suffer a non-contact concussion if I even tried to explain it all here, but the bottom line is that we’ve got John Travolta and Nicolas Cage undergoing face transplant surgeries and one of them is trying to bomb LA while the other is trying to prevent just that.

4) True Lies

Arnold Schwarzenegger battling an Islamic jihadist while simultaneously trying to prevent his wife from having an affair with Bill Paxton. Tale as old as time.

Also, Jamie Lee Curtis, Lord have mercy.

3) Independence Day

This one was difficult. Because the category we’re examining here is ‘Good-Crappy’ movies, not ‘good’ movies. Is Independence Day a good movie or a good-crappy movie? I think when I was a kid I would have said good movie, but the more I watch it was an adult I lean more towards good-crappy. So that’s where I landed, if I’m wrong, may God have mercy on my soul.

2) Con Air

Man alive did Nicolas Cage dominate the 90’s. An unstoppable box office force. Renegade Army Ranger-Nicolas Cage tasked with taking down John Malkovich so he can just get home to his wife. Actually you could probably just do a generic tag like that for every Nicolas Cage led 90’s action movie. ‘Nicolas Cage tasked with taking down _____ so he can just get home to his wife.’ That recipe cooked up billions of dollars of cinematic profit from 1991-2000.

1) The Rock

In my opinion not just the greatest good-crappy movie of the 90’s, maybe the most entertaining movie of the 90’s period. I still quote it to this day (ask Lindsey). ‘I’ll take pleasure in guttin’ you…..boy.’ This cast was LOADED. Cage, Sean Connery in his last action movie (I’m not counting League of Extraordinary Gentleman), Ed Harris, this crazy dude who was a role player in a TON of 90’s action movies:

It’s an all timer.

Now as with all movie/TV show lists, people will gripe with the rankings. That’s fine. I think if I had to extend this to a Top 10 I’d include; Armageddon (which is probably #1 on a lot of people’s lists), Speed, Broken Arrow, Demolition Man and Judge Dredd.

But keep in mind, it is very important to make the ‘good-crappy’ distinction. 90’s action movies that were actually just good movies: Terminator 2, The Matrix, Blade, The Fifth Element, Total Recall, Enemy of the State. Certainly there is some grey area with what is good, and what is good-crappy, but that’s up to each individual to determine. If you’d like to mention a movie I forgot or just drag me for having terrible taste, feel free to do just that. My wife may be first in line.

PS: Before you even start, Gone in 60 Seconds was made in 2000. I had to check because it would have been #2 on my list if it came out in 1999.

Double PS: If I’m honest David Bakhtiari starting camp on the PUP list isn’t encouraging.