Favorite Burgers By State not having Culvers for Wisconsin is a war crime.

Live look at Strange Brew HQ after seeing this map:

Hello @FBI? I’d like to report a crime for one of your new agents to take care of. Please arrest ‘Top Data’ and possibly Darren Rovell as well. Thank you for your time.

Look I harbor no ill will towards McDonalds. It’s one of the great staples of our country. There is nothing, and The Rock means NOTHING, better than a trip to Mickey D’s when you’re a kid. As an adult? Eh. Every once in a while a double cheeseburger or a QPC with cheese really hits the spot. And their fries are beyond reproach. Chicken nuggets are solid too and I don’t mind a Big Mac or a McChicken. LOVE their breakfast menu as well. But beyond that I could take it or leave it.

All that said, the fact that Culvers has zero representation on this map, especially as it relates to Wisconsin, is a crime. Say what you want about their cheese curds (not great), but the Butter Burger is the king of the chain burgers*. Culvers is as Wisconsin as brandy old fashions and pronouncing our t’s as d’s. So for that reason I need to request that this map and all of it’s data be fired into the sun, never to return.

A few other notes on this map:

• I haven’t had anything from A&W since I was a kid and one existed at Memorial Mall, but I don’t think I’ve EVER had a burger there, always a hot dog.
• Lindsey and I had our first In-N-Out in Utah last summer and she basically tossed it directly into the trash.
• I have never heard of Smashburger before, but a listener on the text line this morning described it as Culvers meets In-N-Out.
• I thought Whataburger dominated the south?
• Five Guys is okay but for the prices on their burgers they need to be Michelin rated to justify it.

*I’ve seen some conversation lately about Culvers being overrated. I try not to let that bother me. Especially in the internet age, if something is popular with a lot of people, there will always be a vocal minority that can’t wait to tell you that whatever is popular is overrated. Being overrated inherently means that your product is almost universally loved. ‘Jon Henseler is overrated’ is a sentence I’d love to hear some day.

PS: I was doing a break on this map on the morning show, going on and on and on and on and on about how McDonalds isn’t that great and Culvers blows it out of the water yada yada yada. Well just about every talk-break on the morning show goes right into commercials. The first commercial after that break? Buh-dah-bu-bah-bahhhh, I’m lovin’ it. Classic!