New Green Bay Phoenix head coach, Doug Gottlieb, learned a valuable lesson about light colored shirts in his first game last night.

Oh, Doug. Doug, Doug, Doug. Take it from a career flop sweater who puts up NUMBERS during summer weddings (3.7 pints of sweat at the Vanderstein wedding in July of 2013 #metrics), you simply can’t wear a light blue colored shirt in a warm environment. Day 1 stuff. The Phoenix played at Oklahoma State last night, and Stillwater is still seeing high temps in the mid-to-upper 70’s. Factor in a warm gym and the nerves of your first game as a head coach and you’ve got a recipe for disaster. Literally swimming in it.

You’ve got to either wear all white or all dark in these scenarios. OR, you have to keep your suit on at all costs. Otherwise you end up looking like Ted Striker on national TV:

The good news for our guy Doug is that you can put that picture in the college basketball coach flop sweat HOF with these beauties:

That last one of Sean Miller still blows my mind. Guy looks like he literally went into the shower with his clothes on. Even I can’t reach those levels. Respect.

PS: The #FIREGARD machine got cranked up EARLY this season when the Badgers fell behind 21-5 to Holy Cross last night. Luckily they outscored them 80-40 the rest of the way. Say what you want about Greg, but he does always seem to get the most out of teams that aren’t expected to do much. The Badgers were picked to finish 12th in the Big 10 (plus 8) this season, I think they end up 8th or better.