Look, I see what BetUS is trying to do here. They’re appealing to the lowest common denominator. Adolescent humor. They think if they post a job searching for a, ‘Weiner Connoissuer,’ that bloggers and podcasters and morning radio show hosts are going to push the article out because we have underdeveloped frontal lobes and our sense of humor hasn’t evolved past that of a 10-year old.
Well let me tell you something, BetUS: I’m better than that. I’m going to be 40 years old in a few months. I’ve graduated past this type of stuff. Sure, 15 years ago, 10 years ago, maybe even 5 years ago I would have been giggling about this in the studio for 20 minutes before even typing a word in this blog. I would have texted my buddy Paul and told him that I found a summer internship for him. I would have texted another buddy (still Paul) and said something offensive about his saint of a mom. I would have told another friend of mine (you know) that he’s already traveling across the country measuring weiners so why not actually get paid to do it too!
BUT, I’m not that person anymore. I’ve got a mortgage (that my wife pays). I’ve got an investment portfolio wrapped up in NFT’s and Doge Coin. I’ve got responsibilities. So I’m sorry, BetUS. I simply do not have time to text my friends all day about jobs where they would be in search of the finest weiners this country has to offer. I wish I did, but I’ve grown up. I’ve matured. I won’t be partipating in these infantile gimicks anymore.
PS: If you are interested in adding, ‘Weiner Connoisseur,’ to your resume, click here for the link. All of your travel and food expenses would be paid, in addition to $2,500 and a $500 MLB Shop gift card. All that is required if for you to travel to all of the MLB ballparks and record the length, diameter and weight of every weiner you purchase. Grow up.
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